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Office, in the middle of a very busy day. Maja has a packed calendar and several open tasks. Samuel walks over with one more request.
— Maja, can you add the copy for this presentation too?
— Sure.
Samuel hears agreement. Maja is convinced that her face and the situation make it obvious she is already overloaded.
How does Empatyzer help people speak openly about overload?
Empatyzer helps you see that overload is only obvious to the person who feels it. It also helps you understand why others may not see it and how to address it directly.
Features that can help:
- Comparison: Shows where you differ in areas like how visible overload is and how needs are communicated, which helps you understand why a "You should have known" situation might mean different things to each of you.
- Talk to Em about a specific person: Allows you to describe a "should have known" situation to Em, take into account the profiles of both parties, and prepare a specific version of the conversation or message before reaching out.
- Tips: Offer guidance on how to talk to that particular person in a "you should have known" situation to keep the message meaningful and reduce the risk of unnecessary defense or misunderstanding.
What really happened
Maja feels the overload intensely. Because it is so obvious to her internally, it also feels as though it should be visible from the outside. Samuel has access to different evidence: he hears “sure” and sees someone who has not raised a problem. Maja assumes “he should be able to see it.” Samuel assumes “if she agreed, it must be okay.” There is no need to look for bad intent. Each person overestimates how much the other can know without a clear signal. Maja’s profile makes the scene especially plausible because she may experience pressure strongly without always showing it just as strongly.
What the research says
People tend to overestimate how visible their internal states are to others. When something feels intense inside us, it is difficult to imagine that it may be almost invisible to an observer (the illusion of transparency; Gilovich, Savitsky & Medvec, 1998). This does not mean other people notice nothing. The problem is that we systematically overestimate how readable our emotions, tension, or intentions are. At work, that is particularly risky with workload: someone can look calm while having no operational capacity left for another task.
How to handle it
You do not need to disclose your entire emotional state. You only need to make visible the information required to manage the work: “I have three critical items today. If I take this one, we need to move one of them.” Instead of asking only “Can you handle it?”, Samuel can ask, “What would have to move if we add this?” Workload can also be made visible on a shared board instead of being inferred from facial expressions. The general rule is: what is very obvious inside a person does not automatically become shared information.
How Empatyzer and Em can help
Empatyzer helps separate what a person genuinely feels from what others can realistically see without being told. The assessment may show that Maja experiences overload strongly but does not always communicate it equally directly, while Samuel naturally relies more on what is said and visible in the conversation. Comparing their profiles allows Em to anticipate exactly this mismatch. Before Maja accepts another task, Em can prompt her to say what would need to move if she takes it. Instead of asking “Can you handle it?”, Samuel can be nudged to ask, “What drops if we add this?” At team level, Empatyzer can show whether some people signal overload explicitly while others expect it to be noticed. Micro-lessons turn that into a durable habit: do not manage workload from facial expressions — turn an invisible state into information people can actually use to make a decision.
Sources
- Thomas Gilovich; Kenneth Savitsky; Victoria H. Medvec (1998). The illusion of transparency: Biased assessments of others' ability to read one's emotional states. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(2), 332-346. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.2.332 10.1037/0022-3514.75.2.332
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