On this page
Helena hears that Maja has lost someone close. She starts writing a message because she does not want to pretend nothing happened.
Maja returns to work and sees another wave of condolences. Her only thought is:
— I just wanted to work normally for two hours.
Helena wants to show care through contact. Right now, Maja needs care in the form of a little space.
How does Empatyzer help people offer support after a loss?
Empatyzer helps you choose support after loss for a specific person: check whether presence, a short message, practical help or simply space would be better.
Features that can help:
- Comparison: Shows differences in the need for contact, distance and the way of reacting to emotions, which may influence how the other person receives support.
- Tips: They help you choose a form of contact that shows concern without forcing a conversation or imposing your own way of experiencing a difficult situation.
- Talk to Em about a specific person: It allows you to prepare a short message or a way of speaking to a specific person when it is difficult to assess whether the contact will be a support or an additional burden.
What really happened
Helena knows loss and remembers how painful it was when people said nothing. That experience makes her want to reach out to Maja. Maja needs something different in her own grief: a few hours of ordinary work in which nobody reopens the difficult subject. Both reactions can be healthy and deeply human. The biggest trap is that our own experience of grief can easily become a user manual for someone else’s grief.
What the research says
Research on bereavement support at work suggests that employees value understanding, availability, flexibility and acknowledgement of the loss, while individual needs vary considerably (Wilson et al., 2021). An Austrian study published in 2026 found differences in preferred forms of support linked to factors including age and gender, and participants emphasised the importance of leader behavior and organizational culture. Representative German research from 2026 likewise highlighted empathy and availability while showing that no single approach fits everyone. Effective support therefore needs to preserve the bereaved person’s control over both the form and timing of contact.
How to handle it
A short message that does not require a response is usually the safest opening: “I’m very sorry. I’m here if you need anything. You don’t need to reply.” Then let the bereaved person decide whether they want to talk, work normally, reduce their workload or have space. The general rule: in a difficult moment, offer contact and help—but do not force someone to receive support in the form that once helped you.
How Empatyzer and Em can help
Empatyzer can help Helena prepare a supportive message, but it should not use psychometrics to predict how Maja will grieve. In this situation, communication profile is only light background; choice matters much more. Em can suggest a short message without a response obligation: “I’m very sorry. I’m here if you need anything. You don’t need to reply.” It can also remind Helena not to project her own grief style onto Maja and later to ask about practical work needs rather than pushing for an emotional conversation. Empatyzer is not therapy. Micro-lessons can nevertheless help leaders understand that the most empathetic support often means offering several safe options and leaving the person in control of which one they use.
Sources
- Stephanie Gilbert; Jane Mullen; E. Kevin Kelloway; Jennifer K. Dimoff; Michael Teed; Taegen McPhee (2021). The C.A.R.E. model of employee bereavement support. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 26(5), 405-420. https://doi.org/10.1037/ocp0000287 10.1037/ocp0000287
- Melina Prünster; Elisabeth Nöhammer (2026). Work, grief and support: what employees need and organisations provide – evidence from Austria. International Journal of Workplace Health Management, 19(4), 407-427. https://doi.org/10.1108/IJWHM-08-2025-0196 10.1108/IJWHM-08-2025-0196
Find an article
Enter at least 2 characters. Minor typos are OK.